Jealousy.

Its never been like this before. I'm on new territory, and I'm not sure i like it. Or maybe I do. Maybe I just don't know it yet. Maybe I love it. Wouldn't that be something? But if I love it, then I'll be devastated when I lose it. And then, I'll want to die all over again. I think this is the last chance. What do you think? You think I'll win?

There was a wicked messenger..

Spring break is almost over. I've never wanted to go back to school so badly. I need a break from myself. The more time I have to myself, the more I think I'll lose my mind. I think Vincent Van Gogh got it right. When I look in his eyes, I see insecurity. I see myself. Vincent said that death was the path to the stars. Don't we all want the stars? I know I do. My life is standing still, and dreaming isn't moving me like it used to. I need something more. I can't live like this much longer.